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Fiction Factoid: Klutziness
Here’s the first definition of klutz from dictionary.com: a clumsy, awkward person.
Synonyms from thesaurus.com: bungler, butterfingers, dolt, dullard, lummox, oaf
And here’s a paragraph from wikipedia: A klutz is a person who is clumsy, foolish, inept, or accident-prone. The term is perhaps derived from the Yiddish קלאָץ klots (‘wooden beam’), cognate with the German Klotz, meaning a “block” or “lump”. The British slang, pillock and the Australian slang, galah are used with similar meaning, particularly in terms of being foolish and inept.
Why would anyone want to make their heroine a klutz? I have a couple of theories:
A) It adds humor to the story.
B) People with a similar malady can relate to the heroine.
Okay, okay. You got me. I’m one of those clumsy people that can total relate to Amber in Cheryl Wyatt’s A Soldier’s Promise.
Case in point: we have a water dispenser for our two dogs that holds roughly a gallon of water. It can be… um, interesting to fill up because you fill it with water, put the lid on, then you have to turn it upside-down (or right-side-up depending on how you look at it) so that it fills the little pan/bowl part with water. I’m usually pretty good about not spilling (much) of the water before I get it on the floor.
But two weeks ago, I got distracted and spilled THE WHOLE THING. Not only was I soaked, but it took two bath towels to sop up the water from the kitchen floor. Thank goodness we have tile in there.
That’s not quite as bad as some of the… ah, fiascos that Amber gets herself into with her klutziness, but I don’t want to spoil the story for you. You’ll just have to read it yourself.
Amber Stanton has a lot more going for her than just being a klutz. Find out why this heroine had me in stitches in review at novelinspirations’ featured author page.
BONUS: Leave a comment to be entered in a drawing to win a copy of A Soldier’s Promise. Remember to leave your email address, so I can get in touch with you if you win (use the format lacy[at]novelinspirations[dot]com to avoid being picked up by spammers).
Fiction Factoid: The Pipeline
We continue our saga of what it takes to become a pararescueman:
Seems like after that 1% graduates from Superman School, they should be ready to go rescue people. But they aren’t. Yet.
After Superman School comes “The Pipeline” – a series of training schools that you get to go to become a qualified Pararescueman. The Pipeline takes about 18 months to complete.
First stop: Fort Benning, Georgia. At the U.S. Army Airborne School, trainees get qualified to use a parachute in combat deployment. See wikipedia for more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Army_Airborne_School
Second stop: Key West, Florida. No, you’re not there to get a tan. PJ trainees attend the U.S. Army Combat Divers school. They learn SCUBA basics plus how to be covert and infiltrate stuff.
Third stop: U.S. Air Force Basic Survival School in Washington State. Trainees get to spend two-point-five weeks learning to survive in the wilderness. Fun. Except for the bugs, snakes, bears…
Fourth stop: Fort Bragg, North Carolina. Something called “free-fall school”. Trainees learn to parachute from as high as 26,000 feet. They practice jumping with oxygen, weapons and packs.
Fifth stop: Kirkland Air Force Base. By now, trainees are down to the easy stuff like paramedic training, field tactics, mountaineering, combat tactics, advanced parachuting and helicopter insertion/extraction. No sweat.
After reading about all of the training required to be a PJ, you have to realize how much determination it takes to get through it all. That makes me think of this verse: Romans 5:3-4: “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
Find out about one PJ’s (Joel’s) determination in Cheryl Wyatt’s new release, A Soldier’s Promise. You can find an interview with Cheryl and review of the book at novelinspirations’ featured author page.
BONUS: Leave a comment to be entered in a drawing to win a copy of A Soldier’s Promise. Remember to leave your email address, so I can get in touch with you if you win (use the format lacy[at]novelinspirations[dot]com to avoid being picked up by spammers).
Great Expectations, or… Great Beginnings
I saw an announcement for ACFW’s Genesis contest the other day on one of the email lists I’m a part of.
The Genesis is a contest for members of ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers) who are unpublished in book-length fiction. You submit the first fifteen pages of your manuscript and it gets judged/critiqued by published authors and/or experienced writers. If you score in the top five in your category, you go to the final round. Here’s the cool part:
The final round judges are editors and agents.
So… if you have an amazing beginning to your book, you might get a request for the whole thing. WOW!
The winners in each category get to accept their prize at the ACFW National Conference. This year it is in Minneapolis.
I entered the Genesis last year with a manuscript I have since scrapped (it was missing some very important pieces!), and plan to get at least one manuscript polished to enter this year.
***
Thinking about the Genesis contest started me on a rabbit trail about the best beginnings. So of course I thought I’d share my musings. 
Beginnings are really important, don’t you think? If the first chapter is well-written, you can learn a lot about the hero or heroine. Even within the first few pages, you can get a sense of their personality, what is important to them, how they react to situations, maybe a hint of the BIG PROBLEM they are going to face later in the book.
Good beginnings can throw you right into the middle of the action. Or danger. Or interpersonal conflict, if that’s what you like.
Here’s a short list of books I’ve read within the last year that have the best beginnings:
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Off the RecordBy Elizabeth White / Zondervan
When Judge Laurel Kincade announces her candidacy for the Alabama Supreme Court, the last person she expects to see in the crows is reporter and ex-boyfriend, Cole McGaughan. He’s there to advance his own career, but there’s on problem: digging up dirt on the lovely lawyer may destroy him, too. Can the truth set them both free? |
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Bygones, Sommerfeld Trilogy Series #1By Kim Vogel Sawyer / Barbour Publishing
Widow Marie Koeppler and her grown daughter, Beth, reluctantly return to the Mennonite community Marie abandoned 23 years ago—to meet the conditions of their Aunt Lisbeth’s will. When a series of thefts raises suspicions against the “outsiders,” can Marie prove their innocence? Has she stolen more than Henry Braun’s heart? |
Beloved Castaway, Fairweather Keys Series #1 by Kathleen Y’Barbo
Buried Secrets by Margaret Daley
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The Restorer, Swords of Lyric Series #1By Sharon Hinck / Nav Press
Susan Mitchell is wondering what happened to God’s plan for her. Her life can’t just be about cleaning, organizing her family, and being involved in damage control for her four rambunctious children, can it? When Susan opens a box in labeled “Dress Up” in her attic, her question is answered.Upon opening the box, Susan finds herself thrust into a parallel universe where she must help bring heathens and warring territories “back to the Verses.” Susan is a Restorer, a prophet like the Biblical Deborah. Together with an unfamiliar sword, it is Susan’s job to show the inhabitants of this new world how Jesus can save people. This universe will forever change how Susan looks at life, love, and family.if she can get out alive. Sharon Hinck, softcover, 464 pages. |
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The Restitution, Legacy of the King’s Pirates Series #3By Mary Lou Tyndall / Barbour Publishing
Lady Isabel Ashton, scorned by society after the birth of her illegitimate child, longs to regain wealth and position, despite Christ’s call on her heart. But when her son is kidnapped, she’s forced to seek the aid of the man who pirated her purity. How far will Isabella go to save her child and redeem her honor? |
You can read the first chapters of any of those books by clicking on the link.
Your turn. What are some of your favorite beginnings?
Fiction Factoid: Superman School
So the danger didn’t scare you off? Now you think you want to become a pararescueman?
Well, you might think twice after you hear about the training requirements. First stop: “Superman School”.
Unfortunately, recruits don’t get to wear a cape and spandex.
To “graduate” (translation: survive), recruits have to make it through three months of tortur—I mean, training. This school is equivalent to the Navy’s BUD training program.
This includes: getting up early, running, running while carrying heavy objects (such as railroad irons), underwater sprints (not sure how far, but the warm-ups are one mile in themselves), water harassment, calisthenics. Then more running.
The nice thing about Superman School is that they don’t throw anyone out. But the reality is that only eight will graduate from a starting pool of roughly eighty.
That’s right. One percent of all trainees finish the school. Those are the ones who won’t quit, no matter how miserable they are.
You know what that reminds me of? 2 Timothy 4:7:
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
And when these PJs have to come to the rescue in dangerous situations, aren’t you glad they aren’t quitters?
Joel Montgomery, hero of Cheryl Wyatt’s book, A Soldier’s Promise, isn’t a quitter either. Even when faced with the danger of falling in love. 
Check out an interview with Cheryl and review of A Soldier’s Promise at novelinspirations’ featured author page.
Stay tuned next week for the rest of the training requirements to be a PJ. Yeah, I know! Superman School was just the beginning!
Bingley made the paper
You may or may not know that my dog Bingley is a therapy dog.
No, he’s not IN THERAPY – he visits hospitals, nursing homes, libraries, etc., to give comfort and joy to people who need a little extra in their day.
Dogs have to go through special training and take a test in order to be titled “therapy dogs”. They training was easy for my smartie-pants dog (who uses those brains to figure out lots of things, like how to get in the garbage can, how to get the most treats out of mom, etc.).
And Bingley really has the personality for it, too. He’s never met a stranger. Loves to give kisses (one of our other therapy friends likes to say her mutt “can’t hold his lick-er”). Isn’t scared of new situations.
Recently, Bingley (okay, the program we do therapy at!) was featured in a local paper. Made the print and online editions. And guess who isn’t mentioned at all. That’s right – yours truly.
Sigh… oh, to have the life of a dog!
Read the article: http://www.edmondlifeandleisure.com/link.asp?smenu=87&sdetail=313&wpage=1
Fiction Factoid: A Motto that Matters
What do you think of when you hear this motto: “That Others May Live” ???
For me, it’s a memory verse, Romans 5:6-8:
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Where does this magnificent motto come from? A religious group, perhaps? Nope.
It is part of the creed recognized by Pararescue Jumpers (PJs). Here’s the whole thing:
It is my duty as a Pararescueman to save life and to aid the injured. I will be prepared at all times to perform my assigned duties quickly and efficiently, placing these duties before personal desires and comforts. These things I do, “That Others May Live.”
So what does a PJ do, exactly?
Jump out of planes to rescue people. Easy, right? Well, until people start shooting at you. That’s right, these Special Forces soldiers perform daring rescues in both civilian and military situations (although they are primarily charged for the military settings).
You can find out some basics about these warriors at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_Force_Pararescue
And if you want to read a great book about a PJ, check out Cheryl Wyatt’s new release, A Soldier’s Promise. You can find an interview with Cheryl and review of the book at novelinspirations’ featured author page.
Watch for more factoids about PJs coming this month!
Resolution: LIVE WITH ABANDON
One of my dogs, Taylor, has a thing about squirrels. I would call it an obsession, but I don’t know if that word is strong enough.
For hours a day, he’ll sit at the back door, watching out the window. Waiting.
Suddenly, he’ll go on high alert. That’s when I know we have an intruder in the yard. Sure, you probably don’t think that a little furry creature with a big, fluffy tail is a threat, but believe Taylor when he says that the world will come to an end if that gray squirrel is allowed to play in his yard.
Taylor gets so excited about the squirrels that he’ll dance around in circles near the back door until you open it. Then he streaks out into the wilderness of the yard, barking, until the squirrel returns to its overhead home.
And Taylor returns to the house, tail wagging, tongue lolling out of his mouth. With a satisfied grin on his face. He’s done his very best to rid our yard of the verminous squirrels. He’s proud of himself.
Resolution number two for 2008: I will learn from Taylor and live to the fullest each day. I’ll be watchful for opportunities I can pounce on. I’ll give one-hundred-and-ten percent through the ordinary and extraordinary. Five times a day or five hundred times a day, I’ll live with abandon. And I’ll turn in at night with a satisfied smile, knowing I’ve done my best.
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. – Colossians 3:17
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord – Colossians 3:23
Resolution: BEGGING
Why is it that dogs always want whatever food their human masters are eating?
It never fails that when my husband and I sit down to dinner, our two dogs are underfoot, using their morose spaniel eyes to convince us that, no, they haven’t been fed all day. Or all week, really. And they need a bite – just a smidgen – of whatever we’re enjoying.
It all starts when I begin cooking. At the refrigerator’s unique suction sound the dogs’ ears perk up and they come running. I’ll start browning meat, or chopping, or even just arranging my ingredients, and the dogs appear. They stand in the way. I’ve tripped over both of them before, though not usually at the same time. When I get irritated enough, they’ll sense my mood and lie on the tile out of the way (but still in the kitchen).
Then hubby and I sit down at the table (or on those very relaxed occasions in the living room) and the dogs sit at our feet with their eyes trained on us. Begging for tablescraps. Until the meal is completely over. That’s right. They don’t give up until we’ve done the dishes and it’s obvious there is no more human food to be had.
Resolution number one for 2008: I will take a page from my dogs’ book and wait with rapt attention for the crumbs that fall from my Father’s table. I will listen for the sounds that let me know He’s cooking something up just for me. I will watch as He creates, in me or for me, a masterpiece. I will train my eyes on Him and not look away. Waiting for His goodness, righteousness, glory.
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” – Matthew 5:6
Bonus Favorite – On Sparrow Hill by Maureen Lang
Read a review of On Sparrow Hill at Armchair Interviews: http://reviews.armchairinterviews.com/reviews/on-sparrow-hill
Lang’s second book in this series, On Sparrow Hill starts when commercial manager Rebecca Seabrooke finds out her boss, aristocrat Quentin Hollinsworth will be moving into his family home (which Rebecca manages) for the summer.
Rebecca has been successful at hiding her long-time crush on Quentin with him gone most of the time, but fears he’ll find out about her feelings if he’s in such close proximity. Does God have a plan to bring them together?
Letters from Quentin’s ancestor, Berrie Hamilton, reveal a family history that starts with her intentions to be headmistress over a school for handicapped children. Berrie takes in a stranded girl whose family apparently doesn’t want her, but when the girl’s brother, a dashing Irishman, shows up on Berrie’s doorstep her ordered world is upset.
Berrie is sure God’s plan is for her to run the school. Does He have a bigger plan in mind?
Things to love about On Sparrow Hill:
Romance. Two times the story lines equals two times the romance in this book. Lang creates a fine tension between the characters that makes the romance jump off the page. My favorite scene is when Quentin chases Rebecca in the rain with no shoes on – sigh!
History. Lang’s use of small details throughout the historical portion of this book makes reading it a joy and really draws you into the story.
Also:
Double the heroes
Strong heroines
Inspirational message
Plot
This is a great read that comes out in February 2008, so preorder now: On Sparrow Hill
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